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...it was always about the evens

Jul 31, 2021
An open love letter to my mother

My name is Ilyse Craft & I am an Online Life & Biz Coach.

Today was the halfway point in the first coaching course taught LIVE daily for 33 days.

Not the first one I’ve ever taught.

The first one this long, showing up every day LIVE to deliver content.

Whilst the course covers the sectors of mindset, world class leadership, "resolution" communication, "on" purpose living and a relational connection to money, it would all be amiss without the presence of love.

Today the women read love letters they wrote to themselves. They turned the video camera on and we watched while they read their letters, and we witnessed their love & devotion.

It was gorgeous. It was beautiful.

At times pain crept in & swept across their faces with some sadness but largely love was present. And hope. And the possibility for much greater love.

The synchronicity of the program allowing this day to fall on my Mom’s birthday is not a coincidence. I know this.

I am so grateful to be able to see my Mother today. I know many are less fortunate. Their Moms are gone or they aren’t close.

Although the love letters written are to ourselves, I had a pull to write mine to my Mother & a knowing that in another life, I was my Mother’s Mother, which creates such understanding for the feel & texture of our connection now.

My daughter was also my Mother in another lifetime and in this one is my greatest teacher.

Many Lives Many Masters [a book by the great Brian L. Weiss, M.D.], helped me make sense of the curiosity of familiarity I had felt with my Mother from a very early age.

I always had a desire to take care of her. “To Mother my Mother.”

She didn’t ask me to do this, it was from within & I’ve had to actively work at being a daughter to and with my Mother. This is a role I absolutely love.

When you have a knowing that everything is eternal energy and we have danced lifetimes in varying roles with our loved ones, life becomes less ridged, more fluid and what enters is more grace.

Without further adieu, before I risk losing you...

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Dear Mom,

“I love you” could never hit the mark, yet these universal words are where this love letter will begin.

In this time together, I came to you as your daughter. The youngest & for a decade, I got to be your “baby.”

The life we have shared so far has had every color in the rainbow.

Life has been long.

We have had many blessings, tremendous loss, and yet when I close my eyes and see you... hear you... feel and sense you... there is laughter, joy, and incredible love.

My earliest memory is of you tossing money down to me, wrapped tightly in a paper towel so I could buy ice cream from the truck going by. I hear music in my mind, I see smiles.

Life then was simple in my little girl eyes.

Yet for you, mid 20’s, widowed, with 3 toddlers, it was anything but.

I’ve come to create a life for myself that is beginning to look like fairy tales and dreams coming true.

This I credit largely to you.

To the memories.

To the lessons.

To the blessings.

So many of them light the parts of my heart and mind that only you & my family can ignite.

Yes, we have had pain, Mom.

Yet you taught me what love is.

You taught me what promise is.

You taught me about tomorrow.

You taught me about hope.

You taught me to believe.

You taught me to trust.

You taught me how to stand.

You taught me not to look at the odds.

Rather to look at “the even’s”.

Even if it doesn’t work out, I learned a lesson.

Even if it didn’t last, there was a blessing in the experience.

Even if the chips were down, I had you reminding me that I was and will always be better than ok.

It was never about the odds.

It was always about the evens.

I love you, Mom.

You didn’t have to have it easy.

You didn’t have to have it all go your way.

That wasn’t a life requirement for you to show up, to love deeply, to be loyal, to stay committed.

You’ve never wavered.

Not one degree.

I always knew where you were.

Always.

Do you have any idea how much power you’ve given me?

How much strength knowing I had you loving & believing in me?

I wish I could loan you to the world.

What a better world we could have if people could have a Mom love them like you have loved me.

You say what you think but you never take your love away.

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I know the world feels strange now, Mom.

I want to give you something.

I want to give you promise.

I want to give you hope for tomorrow.

I want to flood your heart with love.

I want you to hold onto the possibility that the world will figure this out and things can get better.

I don’t want you to worry about life any day let alone every day.

Not you Mom.

You deserve better.

You deserve the best.

You are so precious to me.

I want you to live your life every day of your life.

I want your life to be incredible.

Because I love you so much.

You’ve handled so much for so long.

It’s my turn.

It’s our turn now.

Wake up every day knowing things are going to be better than ok.

Think about the “evens.”

You deserve the sky, the stars, and the moon.

& all that your heart desires.

All the days of your life.

 

I love you, Mom.

___________________________

I wear a mask to keep myself healthy first & foremost and to be able to spend time with my Mother. I'm able to show up powerfully for my Clients and the world. Whatever sacrifice there may be pales in comparison to the gifts I've been given.

Consider writing your own letter to your Mother, Father, Aunt, Grandmother, Teacher, Mentor, or anyone who has made a difference in your life.

You and the recipient will be so glad you did.

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